Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Good morning. Welcome to JA.
First of all, I think it's important for you to realize that it is inappropriate (and unethical) to diagnose a third party over the internet... so I can't provide any diagnostic insights to you here.
That being said, what you describe is worthy of considerable concern. 7-8 break-ups among two consenting adults within about 12 months time suggests that there are significant issues within the relationship and, perhaps, within individuals involved in that relationship.
I would strongly urge you to consider couples counseling. Any Licensed Mental Health Professional (LMHP) can provide counseling, but you would want to focus on someone who has real experience working with couples. An LMHP could be Psychiatrist, Psychologist, or Social Worker (and this reflects, generally speaking, the price from highest to lowest). You might also wish to consider working with a member of your clergy, if that is appropriate in your circumstance.
I suspect that, once involved in couples counseling, there *may be* reason for the therapist to suggest some individual counseling for your girlfriend, you, or both of you (again, individually). I would also suspect that a couples therapist would work hard to identify and correct the patterns of behavior and communication that keep you two dependent and enmeshed rather than interdependent and integrated (closer to the goal of couplehood). During that individual counseling, matters that impact upon Alice can get addressed... and perhaps issues impacting upon your life.
Finally, one last option is to consider checking out your local Community Mental Health Center. These tend to be located in each city, town, or county - and offer services at reduced fees, based upon income. If you are really REALLY restricted by financial concerns, you might want to consider a "couples book" such as Goldsmith's, "Emotional Fitness for Couples:10 minutes a day to a better relationship." I predict that this might be the kind of conversation started that might prompt Alice, or you, or both of you together - to explore therapy with a LMHP.
Your concerns are valid - for your health, for Alice's, and for you as a couple. I hope you'll consider taking some action that is helpful to you both rather than trying to "stick with it" and "hope for the best." You both need and deserve to take this time for yourselves and for one another to explore this with a professional.
I hope this was helpful. Thanks.
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