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Selah R, M.S. LPC
Selah R, M.S. LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 582
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor; over 13+ yrs exp working with adults, teens, & families/couples.
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Dr. Phil, my daughter has just filed for seperation. She has

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Dr. Phil, my daughter has just filed for seperation. She has two kids ages 13 and 11. She just informed
me that she is going to vacation with kids and ex. I think that this is sending all the wrong messages. What do you think?
Thank you for trusting JustAnswer with your important question.

I don't see anything wrong with going on a family vacation (especially if it's already been arranged, paid for, and both parents want to go to be with the kids, and it's not dangerous for the spouses to get together again). Separation can be a time to take a break, catch your breath, and re-evaluate the marriage. I often encourage my separated clients to go on dates (even weekend trips) where the are supposed to avoid talking about their "issues" and instead work on just getting to know each other again. So many times in marriage we grow apart from our partner and then we get angry that they aren't the same person we married. But we don't realize that we probably aren't the same person they married either.

Creating conversations and interactions that build on our strengths as a couple and as a family can go a long way toward fixing, minimizing, or reframing the "problems" that caused the separation in the first place. So, as long as she's doing this by choice, and not because she's being manipulated of shamed into going, I don't think it's wrong or unhealthy.

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