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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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I have been raised an only child by a single mother to whom

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I have been raised an only child by a single mother to whom I am having a very difficult time dealing with the terrible relationship between my wife and mother. My mother and I have been through some major tragedies growing up and I feel now this is working against me. My mother can be very demanding, controlling and has been nothing but nasty to my wife since the beginning, now adding my 2 year old daughter into the mix things have gotten worse. Feeling entitled to her respect my mother will not back down to the direction of her feelings of rejection from my wife and my wife is firm on the fact that until my mother seeks help or sees the light she is "done." I am stuck at a tether in the middle, any advise is appreciated.
You are in a terrible situation stuck between two very strong-minded women who obviously are more interested in being "right" than considering your feelings, not to mention your poor daughter.

What happens next is up to you. You can insist that all of you go for family therapy to address this terrible power struggle your mother and wife are engaged in, or you can choose between them, which guarantees disaster.

The worst part of all this is that you don't really have leverage unless you give them both an ultimatum, and I am suspecting that you are not able to do that. The sad truth is that until you call them both out for acting like spoiled brats and tell them to stop thinking of themselves and try to consider your daughter (and you) things will continue to get worse. Your marriage will suffer and it may not survive this battle.

If you are not able to confront them and hold the line, please see a family therapist by yourself so that you can develop strategies for communicating with them which do not place you in the middle. Do this if you do nothing else.

I wish you the best. Let me know if you have further questions.
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