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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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I wonder if you can give me your professional opinion about

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I wonder if you can give me your professional opinion about my line-manager at work. I strongly suspect that this woman is a narcissist. I'm writing this because working alongside this person makes me very stressed and unhappy. There is a high staff turnover in our department and at present, about half of us would like to leave because of this woman's behaviour. Here are two examples:
I met with this woman for my annual appraisal. She had pre-written the appraisal which she did not show me at the meeting. The next day when I received a copy to sign, I noticed it bore no relation to what we had discussed. I complained to someone highter up. Another meeting was scheduled but had to be cancelled because the woman was 'off sick' that day. The weeks leading up to the second appraisal were awkward and we barely talked to each other. When we finally met for the second appraisal, we went through the document and we agreed to strike out two points. When I received the document the next day to sign, these points had been left in. I felt that no matter what I had to say, she didn't really care.
Also, I spoke to her recently about an illegality in the way our department operates. She denied that it had anything to do with her and that it was 'Mrs X' who was responsible for this matter. Nonetheless, she looked extremely worried when I called her bluff and said I would contact 'Mrs X' to inform her. The woman flapped about for a couple of days in a panic but relaxed when she realised I hadn't gone to 'Mrs X'
This woman is undemocratic in her practice and my working life is a misery.
Question: Is she a narcissist?!
Thank you for your time,
JBA
Hello:

Ethically we are not supposed to diagnose someone without seeing them, but if I had to guess, I would diagnose this person as Borderline Personality Disorder. She is manipulative, dishonest, has conflicted relationships with others, and plays favorites among her staff. Narcissists are more grandiose with "larger than life" types of personalities and they crave attention. She doesn't seem to do either one, but definitely manipulates the situation to her own advantage. My second choice would be Anti-Social Personality Disorder. These folks are manipulative, but have no remorse or feelings for those they have hurt. They can be dangerous and often engage in criminal behavior.

I hope this has been helpful. Let me know if you have further questions.
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