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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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My 27yr old daughter wants to marry this guy, who is an alcoholic.

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My 27yr old daughter wants to marry this guy, who is an alcoholic. She has known him less than 3yrs. and has 2 children by him. This will be her 2nd marriage. She has 3 children total. She is not in love with him nor him with her. They get along. I don't hate him but I can't stand him. My daughter's Dad is an alcoholic, and her grandfather was an alcoholic, my dad. My daughter is an R.N. and the guy is a stock clerk at Publix. I have talked and talked to her. What should I say or not say and what should I do or not do? Its like they need each other but I see disater coming. The first marriage was a disater. Please tell me any thing, I am listening. I am desperate. Tonya

The worst thing for a parent is to watch your child heading straight for a disaster and this is what is happening right now. Unfortunately, you have no leverage in this situation. Your daughter is determined to marry this man and you really can't stop her. Objecting will only intensify her desire to marry him, and in her defense, she does have two children with him.

I am so sorry to tell you that you have two options:
1/ Back off and stay neutral about this wedding hoping that she will wake up and come to her senses.
2/ Be supportive and ready to pick up the pieces when it explodes.

Most of all understand that you have no power over her. You have tried everything and she will not listen. This is one lesson she will need to learn on her own.

I wish you the very best. Let me know if you have further questions.
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