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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2173
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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Today, she was really ugly to the babysitter and had no reasons

Resolved Question:

Today, she was really ugly to the babysitter and had no reasons for it. When they were out shopping at the dollar store, she was great, but apparently the rest of the time was not. I have no idea what to do. I gave the tools to the sitter, but it takes about an hour of talking with both of them at the end of the day (or session) everyday. I'm exhausted. The last sitter quit with no notice. She doesn't act like this with teachers, pastors, grandparent. Any other tools or suggestions?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 4 years ago.
What is the babysitter situation? who, where, who else.....
What were the behaviors today?
Was she overtired or not feeling well?

With this information, I will brainstorm and answer later tonight.

Thanks for asking for me
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

New babysitter started this week. Last babysitter quit with no notice in April. I just did without and used after school care between. Too long a day for her and me. New sitter is skilled in working with emotionally challenged kids and has more than 20 years experience with kids in general. They are here with "outings" that are planned for fun.

 

today, what I heard was that she would not listen and put away her things, help with bringing in shopping bags, would not help with tomato plant (her plants), hid her perfume bottle because she didn't want to risk sharing and was "ugly" to the sitter and treated her with no respect (which is rule number one in the family)

 

She was tired, but more clearly didn't want to be "told what to do" and pushing back on any type of authority.

 

I also checked NACBT.org - only person in all of Texas that came up is in Dallas. I live in Houston, that will not work.

 

Thanks for your help. I'm really stressing on this. She is a drain on me as she is so clingy/needy and I'm worried about why it is getting worse, not better.

 

Lisa.

Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 4 years ago.
I found a name of a psychologist with child experience at findapsychologist.org
These providers are credentialed with the National Register (a prestigious organization).
I chose her because of her profile but there were others. No one states whether or not they use CBT. Her name isXXXXX (NNN) NNN-NNNN

My thoughts are that transitions are difficult for your daughter. She is getting to know a new person and may not be used to her personality or her rules. Adjusting to change is a harder process for some children than for other.

For now, when she acts up say the following: "I know you are feeling mad right now. But the rule is _______. Treat others with respect. Time out for not following the rule" all said in a matter of fact gentle tone (8 minutes timer). She needs to learn to trust this person (i.e. with her special possessions/perfume). That will take some time. This change must have her feeling even lonelier for you and hence the clinging. Any other changes going on would also explain worsening symptoms.

The psychologist will be able to give you support as well.
Good luck.
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2173
Experience: 35 years experience counseling children and families
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