Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.
Addiction of any kind builds strong walls around the addict and hurts all the people who lose the connection to him that they once had. You're feeling the same things that the spouse of any kind of addict feels...alone, questioning your attractiveness, missing him, parenting like a single mom, and wondering why you feel this way when everything looks like it's in order.
You don't want to hurt him, but you need to give yourself equal consideration. How much do you want to let him hurt you? Withering up inside is the feeling of your soul dying. I recommend that you google workaholism and family support for it. Get online with the blogs and support sites so that you can hear other women's stories and tell your own...it'll help you not feel crazy, but more importantly, it will help you understand how impersonal his addiction is. It can be quite stunning to hear your own story repeated by 10 people you've never met, but it helps alot.
Counseling will also help you to re-connect to your original, vibrant self so that you can figure out what you want to do about your situation. He can change if he wants to. You can't change him. Those 2 facts are the bedrock of sanity when you're living with addiction.linklink2
My best to you.
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