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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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You have 2 children living together, 1 1/2 yrs apart, their

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You have 2 children living together, 1 1/2 yrs apart, their mom left them, being a mom was to much, they lived with their father and nanny, then wife [different women] until the youngest was 4 yrs, then reunited with Mom and new step Dad. I am now 51 and figureing out that I have a few multiples, it's kinda funny, but not really. My father was very, very abusive to me, I'm finding out { I have had no contact with him for many years, just didn't like the guy and really didn't know why, when it came to visitation years ago, I'd play sick?}. I was told he didn't like me because I looked like my mom by my nanny before she died 35 yrs ago, when I knew nothing, so he wouldn't take me anywhere with him but would take my sister. This kind of treatment towards me, wouldn't it effect her some how in a negative way? Seeing me get kicked across the room or hit, being that she's the older one I'd think she'd want to mother me. Or some how stop this behavior. I remember being potty trained , I remember somethings from way back , but not the abuse. Can hypnotise help? Sue
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Hi again Sue. I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much with all these issues and all the information you have been getting. I can tell, however, that you want to get better and deal with this, so I admire your persistance and your willingness to look at this from several perspectives.

The problem with abuse (besides the obvious) is that it affects different people in different ways. Some people are moved to be protective of their siblings, and other's have all they can do to take care of themselves. I would encourage you to keep your anger focused on where it belongs - toward your father. Your sister was a victim of his abuse also, and she may not have had the strength to take care of you too. I'm sure it has affected her at some level, but she may have found other ways to "forget" it all, while you have developed multiples in order to cope.

In terms of hypnosis, I suppose it could help, but as a psychotherapist, I wouldn't recommend it in a situation like this. You have developed a strong defense mechanism for a reason, and you don't want to undertake something that could flood you with too much information all at once. Recovery from DID, and from abuse, is a process and it takes time. And as much as I admire your determination to figure all this out, this is one situation where I would encourage you to try psychotherapy instead of hypnosis. Trust your mind/body that there is a reason you don't remember, and that you will remember when you are ready to deal with it. Don't force it. That would be abusing yourself. I think if you got into therapy, you would be able to recall much more than you think you can right now. You had a very hard childhood, and there is a lot to deal with. Be proud of yourself that you are strong enough to do so now. Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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