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Doctor Blake
Doctor Blake, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 146
Experience:  Ph.D., Ed.S., NCSP Clinical Psychologist; 15+ years of experience; dual licensure
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Hi, I suffer from schizophrenia but 15 years after my diagniosis,

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Hi, I suffer from schizophrenia but 15 years after my diagniosis, i feel quite oK. The real problems are drives : agressive and sexual. I have always suffered from a hypoactive sexual desire. My psychotherapist told me that i was afraid to be absorbed by my mom. I projected this image on other women all along my life. I have now two reasons to be hopefull: since one week, i express a bit off agressivity at home under the shower, which make me feel more life force. Secondly, I am with a woman since yesterday, what my psy wished in order to change my own image off wowen. Do you think that after 37 years off sexual life desert, i can beleive to a rise off my drives ? Thanks
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Doctor Blake replied 4 years ago.

Good morning...

Bon matin!

 

I regret that my French is very poor. Please excuse my language mistakes.

 

Je regrette que mon Français soit très pauvre. Veuillez excuser mes erreurs de langue.

 

It has been years since I have spoken French... so I may translate some on my own, but will likely rely primarily on internet translations. My apologies! I believe that if I keep my answers brief, I may convey greater meaning.

 

C'a été des années puisque j'ai parlé français... ainsi je peux en traduire sur mes propres, mais se fondera probablement principalement sur des traductions d'Internet. Mes excuses !J e crois que si je garde mes réponses dossier, je peux donner une plus grande signification.

 

#1. We Americans are fascinated by French psychotherapists. You would never hear us speak of being afraid to be absorbed by your mother... or projecting this image onto other women. This does not mean your psychologist is wrong - just that he speaks a very different language! (And I do not just mean French!)

 

Nous des Américains sommes fascinés par les psychothérapeutes français. Vous ne nous entendriez jamais parler d'avoir peur pour être absorbé par votre mère... ou de projeter cette image sur d'autres femmes. Ceci ne signifie pas que votre psychologue a tort - juste qu'il parle une langue très différente ! (Et je ne veux pas dire simplement le français !)

 

#2. As long as you express aggression and sexuality in a way that does not violate the rights of others... or harms yourself or someone else... you should be permitted to do so! You may want to consider practicing appropriate aggression with someone - not only so you can become accustomed to your own expression, but so that you can become accustomed to their responses to you!

 

Tant que vous exprimez l'agression et la sexualité d'une manière dont ne viole pas les droites de d'autres... ou se nuit ou quelqu'un d'autre... vous devriez être autorisé pour faire ainsi ! Vous pouvez vouloir envisager de commettre l'agression appropriée avec quelqu'un - non seulement ainsi vous pouvez s'habituer à votre propre expression, mais de sorte que vous puissiez s'habituer à leurs réponses à vous !

 

#3. Have you considered seeing another type of professional counselor? Here in the United States, we offer Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. This is a very focused form of therapy which deals with specific goals, ways of thinking, and ways of behaving. This does not mean you should discontinue with your current therapist... but perhaps you might learn a different approach to add to your skills!

 

Avez-vous envisagé de voir un autre type de conseiller professionnel ? Ici aux Etats-Unis, nous offrons la thérapie Cognitif-Comportementale. C'est une forme très focalisée de thérapie qui traite des buts, des façons de penser, et des manières du comportement spécifiques. Ceci ne signifie pas que vous devriez cesser avec votre thérapeute courant... mais peut-être vous pourriez apprendre une approche différente pour ajouter à vos qualifications !

 

Finally, congratulations on doing so well in your ongoing maintenance and recovery of your schizophrenia. I am pleased that you are making progress. Do not be afraid to try for more progress!

 

En conclusion, félicitations sur faire tellement bien dans votre entretien continu et rétablissement de votre schizophrénie. Je suis heureux que vous accomplissiez le progrès. N'ayez pas peur pour essayer pour plus de progrès !

 

 

Merci!

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Bonjour Doctor Blake,

Thank you for the translation!

First point: The fear off being absorbed by my mom is for me surely very symbolic, but you must know that she has always lacked off affection (from her parents, my father), so that's is this way that she seemed to search it in me when i was a baby. I lately dreamt off women with a sort of "exterior vagina", as a tentacle oversized...moreover, my paternal grand mother got depressed in the 70's because my mom didn't want to let me and my sister kept by her (by fear that my grand mother steale our love ). So you can see that my mom was very possessive. Do you still think that the theory off fear off being absorbed by women is bullshit ? How would you "traduce" this theory that seems to be the cause off my lack of sexual drive ?

Last point: do you advise me to express appropriate agressivity with people ? Do you think it would be more efficiant ? Firstival, it's not everyday that someone makes me feel angry. Secondly, socially speaking, it's a bit risky, isn't it ? But why not...

Expert:  Doctor Blake replied 4 years ago.

Bon matin!

 

I would never say that the theory of "fear of being absorbed" is bullshit. It would be like saying francais is a stupid language... it is just a way to think! (It just happens to be a very different way of thinking than how us Yankees tend to think. That's all!)

 

Je ne dirais jamais que la théorie de " ; crainte d'être absorbed" ; est bullshit. Elle serait comme dire des francais est une langue stupide... que c'est juste une manière de penser ! (Il s'avère justement juste être une façon de penser très différente que comment nous des Yankees tendent à penser. C'est tout !)

 

I believe that gradually working up toward expressing aggression with others makes sense. I assume, when you say aggression, you actually mean "being assertive." That is, I do not think you should hit someone! But, learning to assertively express your frustration or anger is a good skill to have. You have already begun to practice this on your own... why not begin to practice with your therapist? why not practice with someone who knows that you are practicing? Working up gradually until it becomes a skill you have mastered takes time... like riding a bicycle, yes?

 

Je crois que graduellement le travail vers le haut vers exprimer l'agression avec d'autres semble raisonnable. Je suppose, quand vous dites l'agression, vous signifie réellement le " ; étant assertive." ; C'est-à-dire, je ne pense pas que vous devriez frapper quelqu'un ! Mais, l'étude pour exprimer autoritaire votre anéantissement ou colère est une bonne compétence à avoir. Vous avez déjà commencé à pratiquer ceci sur vos propres... pourquoi ne pas commencer à pratiquer avec votre thérapeute ? pourquoi ne pas pratiquer avec quelqu'un qui sait que vous pratiquent ? Travaillant vers le haut graduellement jusqu'à ce que ce devienne une compétence que vous avez maîtrisée prend du temps... comme monter une bicyclette, oui ?

 

Again... being assertive is OK and healthy. Being aggressive is not OK... but perhaps this is a matter of translation.

 

Best of luck to you!

 

Encore... être autoritaire est OK et sain. Être agressif n'est pas OK... mais peut-être c'est une question de traduction. Meilleur de la chance à vous !

Doctor Blake, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 146
Experience: Ph.D., Ed.S., NCSP Clinical Psychologist; 15+ years of experience; dual licensure
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