How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Doctor Blake Your Own Question
Doctor Blake
Doctor Blake, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 146
Experience:  Ph.D., Ed.S., NCSP Clinical Psychologist; 15+ years of experience; dual licensure
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Doctor Blake is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

what do you do when youve had an affair after being married

Resolved Question:

what do you do when you've had an affair after being married for less than two years (but have been together for 6 years) and part of you feels like you don't love your mate anymore and the other part feels that there is still love, just hard times and miscommunication/distancing has taken a toll?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Doctor Blake replied 6 years ago.

Good morning.


Thanks for writing to JA.


You may be experiencing the ebb-and-flow of many committed relationships. In fact, struggles around years 5-10 in committed heterosexual relationships are so common, a classic American movie was made about it. Ever hear of "The Seven Year Itch?"


I would strongly recommend that you consider couples counseling... which you would initiate on your own (individually) first. Meet with a couples counselor to discuss your feelings, misgivings, hopes, goals. If you can clarify what you want and hope for in your relationship, then possibly couples counseling could proceed from there (with your partner). Some couples counselors may suggest that they will only work with couples as a unit - or will not see individual clients - in which case you may have to seek several professionals. Should you decide to move into couples counseling with your partner, s/he may also want to have a counselor who sees you as a couple, rather than as someone who saw you first and is now seeing both of you.


The goal of couples counseling would be to increase effective communication between you and to bring you closer together toward common life goals as a couple. The reason I suggested you consider individual counseling first is because your post suggests that you might not be certain that you actually want couples counseling. Best to explore that a bit on your own first.


Not all licensed mental health professionals specialize in working with couples. Some work with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Be sure to ask before you "take the plunge." If $$ is a considerable issue, look into your local (town, city, county) Community Mental Health Center/Service. They often offer therapeutic services at a reduced cost.


I do wish you the best of luck with your issue(s) and hope that this feedback was helpful.

Doctor Blake and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Related Mental Health Questions