You cannot commit a crime and then try to have it excused. In doing so you are reinforcing the behavior which prompts her to repeat it. People with BPD don't feel they have a problem, but the other person does. I would suggest that she see a DBT-Dialectical Behavioral Therapist which has proved to be the most effective treatment to an extremely difficult disorder to treat. Sp use whatever leverage you have to get her to see a DBT therapist. Good luck and best wishes.
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