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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My daughters boyfriend of one year lives with us due to his

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My daughter's boyfriend of one year lives with us due to his horrible family situation...both parents on drugs and his sister is bi-polar and violent..
Two months ago he broke up with my daugher stating that he thought he may be gay, and is now seeing a young man.
My question is how do I council this young man, and is there any hope that a young man who feels 'gay' will in the end be heterosexual? He is 18 years old and has been raised in a very dysfunctional home. His father is a drug addict and left when he was 10. His mother was sexually molested by her father as a child. He states that he was not molested in any way. He also says that he feels that it could be from watching porn on the internet at age 13 when he came across gay porn and was more attracted to it than hetero porn. He also feels it could be his feeling of a need for acceptance since his fathers omission from his life. Any advice?

Hello,

People do not choose to be gay they are born that way. There is no way to council some one out of their gayness. What occurs is that they discover that they are gay, learn to accept it and finally live a gay life style. As a gay client of mine once said. "Do you think if I had a choice, I would choose to be gay with all the baggage that goes with it.Your caring is noble. If you wish to help him accept him as he is and doi not attempt to change him. That is the most loving tying you can do.

 

 

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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