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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My father who is an alcoholic and abusive to myself and brother

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My father who is an alcoholic and abusive to myself and brother during our childhood, has announced to the family that he is dying of Stage 4 lung Cancer. Since I am a nurse, many aspects of this situation seem odd and false to me. For one, he has not had a formal diagnosis of Cancer from a General Practitioner or Oncologist, and no one including the woman he lives with seems to know anything more about the situation. Unfortunately my father has a great deal of family inheritance, so many people are now visiting him to "make peace" and a great deal of money is changing hands to relatives who have never been in my life. Seven years ago I broke off relations my father for the sake of my family and do not regret my choice. My father sexually abused me as a young girl, and is extremely selfish. I have forgiven him for myself so that I do not have to be burdened by hate, but this turn of events has me terribly distressed. I am very angry and in need of advice to cope.


It is not clear what your need help with. He abused you sexually and his supposed illness will never change that.





Customer: replied 7 years ago.
You are correct. I don't expect him to change, and I suspect this train wreck will get worse. I need help dealing with the unexpected anger and grief that his "death announcement" and shady behavior are causing me. Do you have any direction to any good support groups, books, or whatnot that might support my efforts? When I was able to afford therapy in a more regular, traditional sense, this helped reassure me.

I am glad your appropriate anger is not assuaged by his possible impending demise.







Ralph LMHC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
So I'm just going to be angry? It's affecting my sleep, but thankfully I never have the urge to take it out on my family. My husband is taking extra care around me and I greatly appreciate this. It just tires me out. Any suggestions?

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