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Ask Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH Your Ow...

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I have a brother that just turned 40 but has been full of rage

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I have a brother that just turned 40 but has been full of rage for the last 15 years. I feel he is very depressed and my whole family is at a loss on what to do next. He was in a bad accident 2 months ago to where he could have died. He was airlifted to San Antonio. When he drinks, his personality completely changes him into and arrogant, combative person. He has two failed marriages that are more than likely directly related to his lack of compassion and empathy for others. He is extremely self centered. I know he is hurting inside but if he does not get help, I fear he will commit suicide. What can you suggest?

Thank you for using I'm so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this. This can be very difficult for family members because you can see so clearly that he needs help but he is not willing. I'm thinking he is probably an alcoholic? The symptoms you listed here are consistent with alcoholism, depression, arrogance, lack of compassion, empathy and self centeredness. When people are going through issues like this, usually the only thing you can do is take care of yourself, distance yourself and get educated about the diseases of alcoholism and depression. If he comes seeking help, you can recommend he go to a therapist (on that specializes in alcoholism) and a psychiatrist for his depression. Until he is ready to ask for help there is very little you can do. If he shares that he is feeling suicidal or homicidal you can call the authorities in your area to have him evaluated for involuntary hospitalization. They can force him into the hospital to get stabilized emotionally and detoxed from alcohol. Even then he may get out and feel he does not need further help. This is the really hard part for the family.

I would suggest reading about how to support an alcoholic in the healthiest way. One good book on this topic is "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. Also you would want to seek out Families Anonymous groups in your community or Alanon groups for support and understanding.

I hope this answer helps. Please let me know if you have any other questions or if you need further clarification about this answer.

I wish you all the best and take care,
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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