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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My wife of 13 years and I are both in our early sixties, fit

Resolved Question:

My wife of 13 years and I are both in our early sixties, fit and, until very recently have had a diverse and adventurous loving relationship. We are a straight couple with never any bi-sexual or other outside encounters. My wife is post menopausal and, in the menopausal stage, was quite undemanding sexually. Her libido has never recovered to the pre menopausal state and I can understand and live with that. What I am trying hard to reconcile, is that she is not only reluctant to participate more than say once or twice a week, but that she clamps her legs together and dislikes any form of genital stimulation- either digital or oral- prior to intercourse. Once underway, intercourse nearly always results in simultaneous orgasm, and in that regard is very mutually satisfying. If I raise my foreplay concerns she dismisses it as not true. She is also very reluctant to discuss any adventurous techniques, positions, fantasies etc, regarding them as unseemly. Any suggestions?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

How long has she been post menopausal. Are there other symptoms from a low hormonal state? Incidentally this is not uncommon.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Ralph

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Hi Ralph,

 

She has been post menopausal for about 12-18 months, no longer expeiences hot flushes, and is physically active with gym sessions three times a week. She takes a range of vitamins e.g ACE, E,Calcium, Fish Oill, Glucosamine, Evening Primrose, CQ10 and has taken them for the last 16years. Mood swings have decreased and generally in good humuor. Thanks.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Hi Ralph,

 

I just thought of something else; my wife works part time -25 hours per week. I am semi retired- no work in last six months. I keep house to a high standard, cook most meals, she has no real demands on her physically or financially. She does focus on minor annoyances within the extended family and takes life very seriously in regard to politics, current affairs etc. She is a good looking woman with very high standards of presentation and personal care; I am very proud of her job role and her appearance, and her caring attitude to others.---John

Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 6 years ago.

There are software problems, but I suggested that she, you and her ob/gyn have a risk benefit discussion between you, your wife and her ob/gyn which will increase her libido, but increase her coronary/cardiac risks especially if she smokes.

 

Sincerely,

Customer/p>

 

 

Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 6 years ago.

Best wishes and good luck.

Sincerely,

Customer/p>
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

From what you say she is no longer experiencing the physical aspects of menopause except for a significant change in libido. I would suggest that if it is bothersome to her You conduct a risk benefit analysis as there are cardiac and other coronary risks associated with the use of hormones, especially if she is a smoker. The hormonal increase will in most probability change her libido preferability. So a 3 way discussion between your wife, yourself and her ob/gyn doctor is in order

 

 

Sincerely,

Customer/p>

 

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