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It sounds like you are a good person and are trying to make the best life for yourself. It sounds to me like you pursued your dreams and have achieved many of them. We do not get to choose who are families are or how they raise us as innocent children. I am sorry that you were dealt some hurt and pain from your family. It sounds to me like you are a strong person who was able to overcome and achieve what was best for you in life.
There are many hard stages in life such as the death of a loved parent. I would suggest that you just make sure you let him know you love him so you will hold no regretts. Also I would really suggest seeing a councelor for some short term therapy to help you process some of the things you are feeling.
Please let me know if I can assist anymore, I am here to help!