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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question

Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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My fiance has all the symptoms of low dopamine. I myself am

Resolved Question:

My fiance has all the symptoms of low dopamine. I myself am bi-polar (and a psych major LOL!) and his is just so by the book he could be the poster child for low dopamine. Anyhow, long story short, in the beginning of our relationship, and then again after we broke up and he was trying to get me back and shortly thereafter, he was unbelieveably caring, considerate, sweet, loving, sexual...just everything a girl could possibly ask for. We would talk for hours and both times (especially the second) I have never been so close to anyone. He promised me he had changed from the uncaring, inconsiderate and cold person to this new person. I believed him, and I honestly think he was being honest, at the time. I moved 1200 miles to be with him only to find out when the high wore off, I was stuck with the same old cold, flat, and inconsiderate person he was before. How can I help him??
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
Please tell me, what are the symptoms of low dapamine as you understand them, and what needs to be done about it?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Very "flat" personality, never really laughs or smiles, never affectionate verbally or physically, watches A LOT of TV and plays a lot of video games, is always tired, gets a little more lively when we go shopping and spend money. No ambition or consideration at home, very job oriented and good work ethic (about going to work) Never offers to do anything at home. Constantly negative, indecisive, he ignores me rather than answer even simple questions. He basically is only aware of how things affect him personally and he doesn't care about anyone else. He has said this, and he has also said he won't ever leave me because he loves me...but he doesn't want to even give me a kiss without acting like he is being forced to. It really makes me feel terrible. Longest we have gone without sex is 6 months.
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
Sounds very emotionally detached, Several real diagnostic possibilities, but diagnoses don't help people. Could be schizo affective, could be personality disorder. The real issue is that assuming he doesn't change, do you want to live like this. Will he go to psychiatrist, knowing how mad you feel. I would think he would at least want to help you feel better. "doesn't care about anyone else". Kinda says it all. Back to is that is ok with you. Even if a dopamine disorder (schizoid, schizo affective, delusional) the prognosis is poor. You need to take him or leave him as is. Don't rely on him to change. Wish it was better news.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Those are also possibilities I considered, but in my limited knowledge, things just didn't all fit. When I read up on the dopamine, it all just fit into the mold. I dont' understand how when, like in the beginning of our relationship, and then again when he wanted me to move to Dallas to be with him (we are from Pittsburgh and he took a job with Dallas PD) he was so sweet and romantic. I came to spend a week with him and he waited on me hand and foot, just held me and looked at me, constantly telling me how much he loved me, we laughed and had so much fun together. Then I moved here and WHAM!! Everything went back to how it was before. Nothing is funny, everthing is irritating, he doesn't want to be bothered. He will see a psych, we have to wait a few weeks for insurance purposes, but he knows I can't live like this. Part of me doesn't want to abandon him because I know there is a problem, and my x-husband didn't give me a chance to get better (even after I accepted my condition and was getting help) so I don't want to do that to him. I do love him, and I know he had a terrible life growing up. I just can't seem to give up on him because I know how getting help changed MY life.
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
The problem is there are dozens of subtypes at dopamine receptors and at different parts of the brain therefor different functions. Low dopamine is not a diagnosis. To get a real diagnosis and prognosis, he needs psychiatrist. Assuming he had to pass a psychological for Dallas PD, everything except personality disorder would have failed him. If it helps you, In psych testing, Police look a lot like antisocial personality disorder - very fine distinction. It sounds like you had a long distance "Disneyland" relationship, but once their, not special anymore. Don't assume your problem is same as his and that his has same prognosis. Certainly you can wait and see, but a terrible life growing up still point to personality traits. I suspect yo will have to take him "as is" or not.
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience: Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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