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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I am a 22 year old guy living in Israel but now has to return

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I am a 22 year old guy living in Israel but now has to return to the US to study for an MA for 2 years. It would be simple except for the fact that I have a girlfriend of one year. Unfortunately the only way we could stay together is if we get married now so she can live with me. Usually we would never get married because we both dont believe in the idea and institution of marriage. Therefore we were thinking about getting married just to stay together. She is pretty sure about it but I am nervous because it is still a commitment and I will be bringing her to a new country she has never been too and I will have alot of work and school. That being said I really dont want to lose her and neither of us believe we could do a long distance because we believe at this age those relationships are too hard to hold up. I am very torn between taking the risky side or the safe side (going alone) and have tangled up my thoughts with the advice of my fam which says not to do it. please help!

Welcome to Just Answers.

That is a hard one! This is what I suggest: Don't get married just to bring her with is a commitment, and it does mean something. Try the long distance relationship first. With Skype, chat and the internet, you can really keep up good contact. Try that may work, and you can always get married and bring her over if it doesn't. Remember that many in the military keep their relationships alive while separated, and have for many generations - it might just work for you, and it isn't as permanent as a marriage.

You may say you don't believe in marriage right now, but you're 22. That changes for most people. Racking up divorces matters when you're older also. I say to give it a try first, and if it doesn't work, then get married.

My best to you.

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