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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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Hi,I am trying to find a solution to my problem regarding

Customer Question

<p>Hi, I am trying to find a solution to my problem regarding a guy. I am single and in past I had been through a lot of emotional pain. I am not involved with anyone right now. Problem is there is one guy at work who keeps on gazing at my eyes for sometime. He talks with me sometime regarding work. But he never tried anything beyond that like asking me out or something. He has not done something to actually get closer to me. When he talks to me he voice is soft than he does with others. He is quite friendly with another girl. This girl is regarded as very beautiful, more like a cute kitten type of way. She got married recently but most guys are friendly with her. She uses a lot of make up and wears nice cloths.I am on the other hand is quite shy. People say I am attractive and I am natural beauty. When I get tired, I look tired. I use a very little make up. Anyway I am quite new at work too. Problem is I am upset and confused about this guy and do not know what to do.</p><p>If required can provide more details.</p>
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
Can you clarify? What do you mean you do not know what to do?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi,

 

Thank you for the response.

 

I do not know how to handle the situation. Sometimes I think I will forget all the feelings and attraction I have for this person and completely ignore it. I feel like this as although he looks at me and sometimes talk to me, I am not sure he is actually interested in getting closer to me. Then I remember that he was looking so sharply at me and also the fact that I am lonely and need to relax and have a little bit of fun in life, which I have not done for nearly 3 years in my life. So I think that I might try to get to know this person. But at the same time I do not want to be a fool and appear to needy (in case he was just looking at me). Although I know that he is not married I am not sure he is already with someone, just like he does not know anything about me. This whole thing is confusing and a bit depressing. In past I have liked a guy and did not show him that I am interested in him (because I was shy and though I must not be too forward). He misunderstood me and thought I was cold. This happened when I was 18. He immediately went out with another girl. It was a shock to me and back then I did not understand what happened.

 

I work with team of 25 women. Most of them like this guy (because he is a guy). So when others are around it is hard to show him that I like him. I wish I can know the reason for his staring, getting shy or getting intense around me (but like I said it could be nothing). I have known guys who like me (I did not like them) and they were quite straightforward with expressing their feelings.

 

Sometimes I think this person at work might just be checking me out. He might look at all the other girls too (considering the fact that he is friendly with this other cute girl who has many guy friends). So he just look at me. there are lots of attractive girls working with us, and of course there are many many girls he can date outside of work too. He really make me confused with his moods and intense looks sometimes. Other times he is shy. He does not give away anything, except the way he looks and the his nervous behavior.

 

I keep on thinking about the whole situation with his guy at work and I am getting a bit depressed as I do not know what is the best thing to do.

 

Thanks

 

 

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
You definitely don't want to appear too needy just in case it is just a look. So I think your approach of getting to know him better is the best way to go. So ask him out for coffee or to do something outside of work and see if he is interested. Or go out to lunch together. Just something to get him alone and talk. I think this would be your best approach to this ambiguous situation. Good luck.

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