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Dr. Steve
Dr. Steve, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 370
Experience:  19 years conducting therapy; book author; newspaper columnist; former co-host of radio show
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I have been going to therapy for about 2 years. I have been

Resolved Question:

I have been going to therapy for about 2 years. I have been unable to cry.
Is crying something that is important for the healing process?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Steve replied 6 years ago.

Greetings:

 

In all honesty, my answer would be YES. Having said that, I don't think that you need to spill tears for several weeks/months and feel totally incapacitated by grief. However, touching the feelings that have been trapped (I am guessing that you are processing through some PTSD from unresolved trauma) is completely the goal. In fact, bottling up the feelings and/or ignoring them is symptomatic of trauma. Feeling disconnected from the feelings (or feeling as though they are "unplugged") will not only affect you down the road by manifesting as depression and anxiety - possibly panic attacks, truth be told - but this state can also have a big negative impact on the intimate relationships (both romantic and familial) in your life.

 

Every umpire has a different strike zone, but that's how I feel about treating trauma and helping a person to heal. If you are satisfied with the response, please hit "Accept." That is the only way I receive credit for my answer. Thanks-

Dr. Steve

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
What do most counselors do when people cry?

So are you saying my counselor might have a different idea about crying?
I know in the past she has said it is okay to cry and that it could be helpful?
But is there a way that it could not be helpful
Expert:  Dr. Steve replied 6 years ago.

Hello again:

 

I'm not sure what you are asking... could you clarify the question?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I guess what I'm asking is do you think most therapists have the same general feeling that you do about crying?
Would any therapist think that it is weird
Expert:  Dr. Steve replied 6 years ago.

Okay, thanks. And I don't think that any therapist would find crying to be weird. As I mentioned, crying can be called "catharsis," whereby a person expels some of the pent up emotion in a way that is liberating. When emotions are bottled, they can affect everything from physical health (think of all the stress-related maladies) to mental health (depression, anxiety, etc.).

 

Dr. Steve

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