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Dr. Steve
Dr. Steve, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 370
Experience:  19 years conducting therapy; book author; newspaper columnist; former co-host of radio show
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I got some what involved with a young intern at a psych facility.

Customer Question

I got some what involved with a young intern at a psych facility. During our sessions she was very open and personal. I was confused on her therapy technique and after about 6 months of seeing her 1-2 times a week I fell deeply in love with her. I have under gone therapy before her for years with other therapists. All of them were very professional and up right in therapy. But she was different and I had a very hard time distinguishing therapy from being personally involvement between us. I first noticed that something was not right when I brought her roses and she accepted them and told me they were beautiful, that she thought that we would have alot of fun together outside of therapy, and she did tell me that falling in love with a therapists happens often. When I asked if she was single, she clearly advertized herself as being so. At times our sessions got a little "warm" between us. Like we both where aware of each others excitement. All though "nothing" happened between us.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Steve replied 4 years ago.

Greetings:

 

Although you did not really ask a question in your description of the events, I will say that the process of therapy between you and the female therapist was not unusual - until she began to accept your advances (either overtly or tacitly). It is quite common for intimate feelings to arise; but rather than allow them to continue, a therapist is trained to process them for what they are - "transferential" experiences. She crossed the line with the roses, with the advertising herself as single, and probably in several other actions which were subtle enough to escape your radar screen.

 

As for pursuing legal channels, I advise you to process the options with your current therapist. I am glad you have sought therapy elsewhere, and feel bad that you feel the previous therapist "left you for dead." Her reaction of getting law enforcement involved tells me that one or the other of you has a distorted version of the actual events (or perhaps both of you), which will make the process a difficult one if it is litigated. Your current therapist will have the most complete picture of a third party, and will be in the best position to guide you. If you are satisfied with the response, please hit "Accept." That is the only way i receive credit for my answer. Thanks-

Dr. Steve

Dr. Steve, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 370
Experience: 19 years conducting therapy; book author; newspaper columnist; former co-host of radio show
Dr. Steve and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I think we both have distorted views on what happened. Law enforcement was called in after several phone contacts were made by myself to try to talk to her and get some answers. All i got was a messege machine. She Knows how I feel. I get angry with her but I dont stop loving her.

She did her internship out here in the state of Missouri and is now "practicing" in the San Fransico area. I'm from California myself but Im kinda stuck here because of the economy. She actually let me kiss her hand the last time we saw each other. No Lie these things happened. She is very well protected by a legal team. I can not fight that. I mean her NO harm at all. I just want and need some answers to hopefully move on in my life without thinking of her. I would think that as a human being you could put ethics aside for abit and talk to someone that is reaching out for help and answers. I have never loved anyone in my entire life like I do her. yet I know it takes 2 two to tango. I also do not want her to risk her license to practice over me. That is what she has worked for for many years. I'm not worth that. Also, in my opinion, the supervisors over seeing my therapy when she was interning dropped the ball by not seeing what was going on between us. The young lady was a sweet, gentle, kind, caring and wonderful. she stole my heart. I never imagined that i would fall in love with her. that was not what I wanted when we started and I did not realize I was till toward the end.

Her supervisiors also told her by phone after she left for california . and i was still getting therapy dealing with her leaving that i had stalker tendancies. which really made me very upset at them. I do not consider myself nor does my currant therapist (a real dr. of Psychology). He is also convinced that i do in deed love this young lady. But there is nothing i can do about it. Its been about a year since I seen her last and the memories and emotions have not faded or weakened. I think of her every day and cry very often over losing her. How did i get myself into this mess? My Doctor is familiar with the clinic that she and I met and was a supervisor there at one time in his career. he knows. I just want to talk to her under ANY controled enviroment that would make her feel and be safe. A phone call would work if it would help me to let go and be able to move on to a healthier emotional/mental state of mind. That is the only choices I have. The 1st one to be honest is to be able someday to marry her. I love her that much. Sad its a no win situation for me. she gets away and I'm left holding the bag and suffering

Expert:  Dr. Steve replied 4 years ago.

Wow... I hear how much pain you are in and have hope that your current therapist can help you sort through the wreckage. I trust that she has learned through the experience, and that you have discovered something about yourself in the process. You will probably not have the opportunity to speak to her, but again, the support you are receiving sounds to be appropriate and beneficial. I wish you the best in your journey-

Dr. Steve

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I am constantly learning about myself and I do not know if she has learned anything. The reason I think that is, She has no idea of what is going on with me or what transpired after she left. She has no clue. If she did . I would then hope that she could take the info and put it to good use and be a better Dr. I dont believe that she went out of her way to hurt me. My heart goes out to her and I wish and pray for her well being health and safety. I love her and I don't know if I will ever forget her. there is alot more but i will save that for my therapist. thanks for listening. its nice to have someone to talk to about it when Im thinking of her. Take care. there is no more need to respond . have a good night.
Expert:  Dr. Steve replied 4 years ago.
Good night to you.

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