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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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I feel so alone. I feel like I cant do anything right on

Customer Question

I feel so alone. I feel like I can't do anything right on my job, for my new supervisor, who is a control/micromanager person. I can't seem to do anything right in my kids eyes. I'm letting my household chores go, my kids tell me I'm a hoarder. I have no energy, ambition, I feel like I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep the rest of my life.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 6 years ago.

Hello, and thanks for visiting JA.

I note that you are on anti depressants - which of course fits with the symptoms you describe.

There are two things that I think could help you. First of all, check with your doctor to make sure that the dosage of your medication is appropriate - he may wish to change it. Secondly, very often, medication alone is not the complete answer in situations like yours, especially in your case, because you do seem to be over-valuing other people's opinion of you.

Therefore,
I’m going to suggest that you would benefit greatly from a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.

CBT is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.

These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them. We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.

If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted,

the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful. The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.

Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.

Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates. Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.

Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.

Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

If you cannot afford to see a therapist, there are good free CBT based self-help resources here:

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/cbtstep1.htm

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