How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Tamara Your Own Question

Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Tamara is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

hi I am dating someone who has schizophrenia and am aware of

Customer Question

hi I am dating someone who has schizophrenia and am aware of the symptoms. At the moment I am finding it hard to deal with some of the symptoms and wondering how we can make our relationship work, when it seems that at the moment I don't seem to be getting any feelings that he is enjoying my company because the emotions just never change and what do i do when he experiencing a hallucination??
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Hi there. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

Well, you have certainly undertaken a relationship that is going to be challenging for you to deal with. As you are aware of the symptoms of schizophrenia, you know that you are wanting to make a relationship work with someone who is lacking many of the skills and perceptions necessary to do that. This is understandably hard for you to deal with because you aren't getting anything back from him emotionally. So making this relationship work is going to require you to let go of your expectations, as well as any needs you may have to get something back from him. Sometimes he will be able to do that, and sometimes he won't. But there is nothing you can do to change any of that - all you can do is accept it.

In terms of the hallucinations, you need to be support and assure him that they are not real. Don't argue with him as that will likely agitate him. Just be there and be supportive, but don't go along with the hallucinations.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara





Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thanks for replying but it didn't give me much help or tips on how to go about making this relationship work. You just confirmed what I knew. As far as hallucinations go he never talks about them to me so how am I supposed to support him. How do I get this from him if he won't open up at and never expresses his feelings about them. He does not talk about it when are together or over phone. Its hard to support him from a distance too.
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Well, here's the thing. I am trying to communicate to you that there isn't anything you can do except accept the situation. You can't change him - you can only change your attitude about it and your acceptance of it. There are no magic answers here. You are wanting to have a relationship with someone who is severely disadvantaged when it comes to those kinds of skills. There's no secret to dealing with that. It's all up to you. I'm not sure what you think someone can tell you that will make that easier. Also, if he isn't talking to you about his hallucinations, then there really isn't anything you can do there either. You aren't going to be able to make him be someone he isn't. I'm sorry that this isn't the answer you want, but that's the reality. Tamara
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
I am a trained nurse and you never tell someone you have a problem deal with it, even dementia patients and their families are given ways to cope with their illness

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education