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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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i have been under a great deal of stress lately, from a number

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i have been under a great deal of stress lately, from a number of different areas. I work away and am engaged to a very special girl. However, i cant stop flying off the handle with her and the other night she confronted me after i had had a drink and i pinned her to the wall. I feel disgusted in my actions knowing i adore her but i have felt unhappy in myself for some time now, but not with her. I am unsure if i am just projecting my emotions onto my girlfriend as she is the one i am closest too. My parents are currently going through a separation and my dad confidies in me, but not to put to fine a point on it i have an awful lot on my plate at the moment, with a house renovation, a dispute with an insurance company over the theft of my car and my impending return to work. My anger is detroying everything i care about and its worsening. She thinks i may be suffering from one form of depression and i am honestly at my lowest ebb, i keep getting upset over trivial things. Please help
Hello, and thanks for visiting JA.

It sounds to me as if you may well be suffering from depression, and the sooner you get to see your GP the better. That is your MOST IMPORTANT TASK at the moment.
The sooner you do it the sooner you start to get better and the better the chance of your relationship surviving.

Your GP can get you on to some medication which will help you feel better - and behave better - and I’m going to suggest that you would benefit greatly from a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.

CBT is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.

These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them. We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.

If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted,

the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful. The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.

Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.

Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates. Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.

Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.

Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

CBT will also help manage your external stress too.

Norman M. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you for your speedy reply. I am currently due back to work in around 14days for a period of 4-6months. Do you believe this would be cause for taking sick leave from my job? The last place i need to be right now is on a ship and although not going back to sea would interfere with long term career/personal plans i have began to accept that perhaps i need to put my health and my relationship first rather than brushing this off again.

Thanks again for your reply.

Your health and your relationship come first!!!! See you GP tomorrow. Good luck.

Edited by NormanM on 3/2/2010 at 4:38 PM EST