How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Norman M. Your Own Question

Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2542
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
14727623
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Norman M. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi, My Rottweiler passed away on NOV.28, 2009...and I am MISSING

Resolved Question:

Hi, My Rottweiler passed away on NOV.28, 2009...and I am MISSING her so bad, I still CAN't Beleive she's gone. It's been 3 MONTHS Yesterday FEB. 28...and since she's been gone, nothing is the same. I KEEP wanting to look at her Beautiful pictures Everyday on my cell phone, and the computer. It feels like she's HERE with us, BUT everytime I look behind me she would ALWAYS be there, and now there is only an empty feeling. Is this NORMAL, Or am I gone crazy...I feel out of CONTROL. I use to talk to her everyday, and even if she's not here, I still am talking to her about how her Big Sister -Bullmastif mix Rodegion is doing,,,and how much we MISS her.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 4 years ago.
Hello, and thanks for visiting JA.

I am sorry to hear about your loss, and what you are going through is a normal process of grieving. Grief is natural, whether it is for a person or a much loved pet.

Here is an article I wrote about it recently, which should help you understand pour reactions.

BEREAVEMENT

It comes to us all, and for many of us, the loss of a loved one is our ultimate fear come true. Your bereavement is unique to you - no-one really knows the depth of your feelings, and because we are all different, we react differently to bereavement, and we all grieve differently. There is no right or wrong way - there is just your way.

However, there are some threads of emotion that are common to almost everyone at a time like this.

Shock and disbelief. It can take quite some time for news of the death to sink in. You don't want to believe it - who would? You can't believe it, not at first.

Loss. You've lost so much - the person, their love, their friendship, their companionship, intimacy, opportunities, hopes... and accompanying the loss can be a deep sense of sadness.

Guilt and regret. Maybe you regret having said that hurtful thing or not visiting the previous week as you'd promised. You feel bad for feeling angry. Some will feel "survivor guilt" - to be alive when another is dead. If the death was suicide, feelings of regret and guilt will probably be heightened. You might also feel shame or blame yourself.

Injustice. Why did s/he have to die so young? Why did this have to happen to me? It's not fair!

Envy. You might envy others for having what you don't have - the friend, lover, mother, father... that you have just lost. You could also envy others their apparently carefree lives.

Depression. Feeling low is a natural part of the mourning process. For a time you could lose interest in life and feel that there's no point in going on. At worst you might feel despair.

Relief. You might feel relieved, especially if the death follows a long illness or if the person's life has been reduced to a shadow of what it once was e.g. through advanced old age.

Anger. You might feel angry with the world, with God or with people for:-

Causing the death

Not being able to cure the illness

Not understanding your feelings

Making thoughtless remarks

Carrying on with life and having fun.

You might feel angry with yourself too, for what you did or did not do. But perhaps most difficult of all, you might feel angry with the dead person for dying and abandoning you and for the pain you are suffering as a result of their death.

Loneliness. Grieving can be a lonely process. You may feel that no-one can possibly understand what you are going through or that no-one cares. And you might have just lost someone who played a big part in your life.

And finally you might feel as if these reactions will go on forever, which of course they won't.

Every single one of these is a perfectly normal reaction, and every single one, can, with time and understanding, be dealt with.

For many people, just being able to talk about their loss, being able to share there feelings and experience in a safe, non judgemental place is the start of a way forward. It can be so difficult to do this even with family and friends, partly because of their personal involvement, and to tell the truth, because it often makes them feel uncomfortable and helpless.

It can be a long journey, but eventually you will start to live again. A different life, perhaps, but a good one.

If you know someone who is going through this pain, the best you can do is just listen. Let them open up, allow them their tears and fears. You don’t need to offer advice – just listen.

Best wishes,

NormanM

Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2542
Experience: ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
Norman M. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education