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I accept totally he won't change but the more I read the more he has passive aggresive personality disorder. I actually feel relieved and happy now that I know he can't help it and he isn't trying to be nasty to me. I know I need help but I thought that you could help and not pass me onto someone else, they just sit and listen without any suggestions on how I can deal with him when situations arise. I have spent thousands on pounds just for a therapist to nod their head and listen for an hour. I want knowledge and feedback ie do I tell him or show him or do I not mention it? Will it affect the children, are they better without him living with us, I don't want them to grow up thinking this is normal. Do I tell them? Thanks, Louise
Thank you Tamara, it has been a long long journey but thank you for your suggestions and I will try another psychiatrist, it costs so much and when he isn't bringing in enough money to live on and I am living on my credit cards it is very difficult. I pay all the bills as he spends it on stupid things for himself, he buys stupid food because it was reduced ie clams, crayfish, game bird, it doesn't feed the family and costs a fortune anyway, he thinks he is saving money but it drains the finances, I have again gone to the fridge to find more stupid food that only he likes, seafood medley with octopus. Anyway, I know now, its not me going round the bend anymore. Thanks for your help.
Regards, XXXXX XXXXX UK
I have been asking him to leave and he had agreed, he told the children and then I heard through my son that he has no intention of leaving. I now believe he is a pathological liar, he tells more lies to cover up his deceptions. The printer box is still on the landing, the hedges haven't been cut for two years and now he has tried to cut a small part the garden is covered in 8' of growth from two weeks ago. It is now killing the grass and he told me he would clear it up this weekend, as I was out taking my daughter to her class I came home to find he had gone out. He didn't return till 6pm with my son. My son said he had taken him to go fishing, then found the tide out so he went into the pub until it had come in. Then found there was no activity so did 10 minutes of work on a call out. I found out it was his favourite team playing so he obviously watched the game, he returned after it had finished. The whole day of doing nothing. I now have an appointment with a Solicitor but need to know if I can prove he has a disorder, I have gone through years of hell and verbal abuse and I don't want to give him more than I have to. He has just been a lazy liar without contributing anything, no money, no love, no caring. Sorry but I am angry.