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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1760
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I am still stuggling to come to terms with my partner having

Resolved Question:

I am still stuggling to come to terms with my partner having an affair(18months ago), i seem to go good for a few months and then have a bit of a melt down...i seem to have a heap of anger still and i just don't know where to put it. we have three kids i found out when i was a few weeks off having my third baby, i really want to forgive and forget but it is extremely hard, we are getting married in may, i thought that i'd be healed by then but the time of the wedding is coming so fast. my question is... would it be "normal" to feel that you don't want to let go of the hurt and pain?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.
You are right in feeling the way you do about his affair and even though you went to therapy didn't the therapist suggest you two go to couples counseling? You are planning on getting married in May and yet you are having such a difficult time. Successful, happy marriages are based on mutual trust and respect. Having an affair while you were pregnant is certainly not conducive to having a mutual trusting marriage. I would suggest before you marry this man to go to therapy together. How are you going to be able to trust him down the road? It will always be in the back of your mind, he did it once, he may do it again. Those fears are normal and the only way you can get past them is to work it out in therapy WITH HIM! He has to be part of the healing.
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