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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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i am 34 years old an rarely orgasm with intercourse...what

Resolved Question:

i am 34 years old an rarely orgasm with intercourse...what can i do? infact if im honest the only orgasms i have are with a vibrator....what is wrong?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 6 years ago.
HelloCustomer- thanks for visiting JA.

I think the first point is this - if you have an orgasm at all, that is great news, if only because it shows beyond any doubt that if your body is properly stimulated, you get the right result!

That leaves us with two issues - first, the physical. It may well be the the physical sensations of intercourse are just not sufficient for you, and that you need a different type of stimulation, either by hand, or by mouth or by vibrator for example. Make sure your partner really knows what physical sensations you really like, and if necessary, show him exactly how to produce them.

How would it be if you could orgasm either after or before ipenetrative intercourse, given the right stimulation? Many women don't find penetrative intercourse the be all and end all anyway - it's quite common.

Secondly - the psychological. Sometimes, there are trust issuses involve, even on an almost subconscious level. If you don't totally trust your partner, this can really inhibit your lovemaking to the point at which it is not as great as it could be. Maybe this is something you could explore with a suitable therapist?


Best wishes,

NormanM
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thanx for the answer...but are u saying then that i may never have an orgasm thru intercourse?? is there nothin that can be done to change that other than the use of vibrators etc as u stated...is it quite commen then to really enjoy intercourse but never reach orgasm??
Expert:  Norman M. replied 6 years ago.
First of all, I am NOT, repeat NOT saying that you will never have an orgasm through intercourse. It may take some time though, if there are trust issues, or physically need a different type of stimulation.

And yes - relax, you're not strange or abnormal. Many women can really enjoy intercourse without having an orgasm at that point! Some good research shows that about 12% of women NEVER have and orgasm, and some 75% never orgasm during intercourse.

Have a look here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_difficultyorgasm.shtml

Good luck,
NormanM
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