Hello and thanks for visiting JA.
I'm sorry to hear of the situation inwhich you find yourself.
It may be that ypour wife's illness is contributing to her behavior. However, it is clear that you are not prepared to let it continue.
First of all, for her to really change, she needs to be given reason to change. As things are at the present, she is getting away whith doing what she does, despite her protestaions that she wants to change. You need to make it very clear to her that you won't let this go on indefinitely, and what will happen if she continue. That should give her the incentive to make changes.
Then, you should assist her in practical ways to make these changes. I suggest that you purchase some site blocking software and put it on your computer so that she simply cannot access the sites that are causing problems. Try to get her to agree to a change of email address, and have that account password XXXXX so that she can only open it with you there - if she does not trust herself (as she claims) this will remove that burden from her. Fibally, medication alone is not always the complete answer toproblems such as hers.
I’m going to suggest that she would benefit greatly from a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.
CBT is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.
These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them. We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.
If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted,
the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful. The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.
Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.
Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates. Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.
Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.
Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT: