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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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My friend got angry with me last night, about having a difference

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My friend got angry with me last night, about having a difference of opinion and came after me and threw me to the ground by the back of my hair. She then an hour later was crying hysterical about how could she hurt her friend! I will not answer her call or text and I just dont know how I feel. can you help me to understand how I am feeling and how to handle this situation? Her husband is my husbands boss and good friend and as far as we know she hasnt told him.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 6 years ago.
Hi there. Was there drinking involved? Tamara
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
yes we were out at a bar, when she threw me to the ground.
Expert:  Tamara replied 6 years ago.
Hi again. Thanks for the clarification. Given that there was drinking involved, I think you can attribute what happened to bad judgment and lack of inhibition due to alcohol. Of course, that doesn't mean you need to excuse the behavior and accept it. But it is something to consider.

I would imagine that you are feeling pretty humiliated, as well as upset. If she is a good friend, I think you owe it to her, and yourself, to listen to what she has to say. That doesn't obligate you to continuing your friendship, but it would give you the opportunity to talk with her about how you are feeling and to see what she has to say. Also, given the fact that her husband is your husband's boss, I think it would be a good political move to try to resolve this.

I don't know the circumstances of what happened, but I would certainly try to consider that there was alcohol involved and see if, from that perspective, it can be moved past. People do stupid things under the influence of alcohol, and if nothing like this has happened before, I think it's worth at least trying to work it through.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I agree in many instances that alcohol does blow things out of proportion but I have never in my 42 years had one problem with any of my friends. I have been friends with her for the past year and have heard how her husband has had to bail her out for fighting. I dont know if I can excuse this because she had one to many drinks! I and alot of my friends have had one to many plenty of times, I am a happy drinker and I only disagreed with her about something so trivial and she looked me in the eye with such hatred and told me I was not allowed my oppinion and that I need to change it now! I looked her in the eye like are you serious? I told her then that I wasnt going to carry it on and when I got up to walk away is when she ran after me and grabbed the biggest chunk of my hair and whipped me to the ground! I now have bruises on the back of my arms and hips and lumps on my head! I cant imagine that anything could excuse you from attacking someone!
Expert:  Tamara replied 6 years ago.
Hi there. Sounds like a horrible experience! In that case, perhaps it would be best to just move on from this friendship. I agree with you that drinking is no excuse - just something to consider. If she isn't that good of a friend, then this may be one that you are willing to walk away from. My only concern is the boss/employee relationship between your husbands. You may want to ask your husband how he wants you to handle it, as it could affect his job. But other than that, I think you are well within your rights to discontinue the friendship. Good luck. Tamara
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