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Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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3 months after stopping nitely pot a 25yr. habit ive decided

Resolved Question:

3 months after stopping nitely pot a 25yr. habit iv'e decided I don't love my husband as I should. I believe now this is the real me and these are my real feelings. I love my life my children but I feel for 16 yrs. of marriage has been for me with the wrong man. He loves me and is the best in all ways but I don't see myself growing old with him. I think I'm thinking clearly but those who are closest to me don't think I am. I feel like a switch went on and now I see clearly I have changed my thinking process but I don't know why. Can you help?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH replied 7 years ago.
Hello,
Thank you for using JustAnswer. Congratulations on quitting smoking! That's a great achievement. Smoking for all that time can dull your emotions and also cause you to not pay attention to things like problems in the marriage. When someone gets sober they can start to see much more clearly. It sounds like this is what has happened. Frequently, when people get sober, relationships do not seem to be working out. There is a very good saying in Narcotics Anonymous, "Don't make any major life changes for the first year." This saying is actually very good advice. It can take quite sometime for the "cobwebs" so to speak to all come out. During the first months of recovery a person experiences post acute withdrawal that can last for months and months. Some of the symptoms of post acute withdrawal can be high emotionality. This can be irritability, extreme happiness "pink cloud", extreme sadness etc. It is different for everyone. It is advisable to wait before making major life decision to give your brain time to heal itself and get very clear.

I think it is fantastic that you are seeing a therapist in a few days. I would suggest waiting a while before you make the decision whether or not you want to leave your husband, talk with your therapist about it, and work on yourself for right now. If a few more months go by and you still feel this way, then you will have a clearer mind and more time of feeling this way, and some time in with your therapist to make a better decision about what to do with your marriage.

I hope this answer helps. Please let me know if you have any other questions or if you need further clarification about this answer.

All the best,
Kym
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