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Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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Hello, I hope you can help me. My boyfriend is so depressed

Customer Question

Hello,
I hope you can help me.
My boyfriend is so depressed that he don't want to get out of bed. He is ready to give up everything and he admited he harmed himself few times. He don't want to go to the doctor or therapist because he thinks it will be always in his health record and will affect his future career. He is very inteligent person and know a lot about NLP. He ia NLP practicioner but it seems he cant apply those technics to himself.
Im really worried about him and don't know how to help.
What can I do? please help.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH replied 4 years ago.
Hello Gethelp,
Thank you for using JustAnswer. So sorry to hear he is going through this. It seems the more intelligent and knowledgeable about helping others, the least likely people are to help themselves. This can be very frustrating for loved ones. Unfortunately, there is very little you can do to help him get help. He has to want to reach out for help. You can tell him that you care about him very much but if he doesn't reach out for help you don't know how long you will be able to support him. This might motivate him but you will run the risk of him isolating more from you. If he gets to a place where he is suicidal you do have the option of having him involuntarily hospitalized. You can call the local mental health facility and they will send someone to evaluate him mentally. If they feel he is a danger to himself, they will hospitalize him and force him to be medicated until he is less depressed. He may be mad about this but it is better than him harming himself permanently. Also, you may want to consider seeing a counselor yourself to help you cope with dealing with his depression. There are also support groups in most communities that are for loved ones of depressed people.

I hope this answer helps some. You are in a very difficult situation. If you need further clarification of this answer, please let me know.

Take care,
Kym
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience: Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your answer. At the moment he doesn't want to talk to anyone, he just want to be left alone. I don't want to presurase him but also leaving him to deal with it himself is breaking my hart and I don't know if thats going to help or make it worse? Also how can i reassure him that getting help is nit going to affect his future career?
Expert:  Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH replied 4 years ago.
Hi again,
Thank you so much for the bonus! I know this is such a difficult situation for you to be in. It really does feel like a fine line between pressuring him and just leaving him alone. You might want to point out to him that he can seek help in a completely confidential manner. The helping profession and Dr's are all bound by confidentiality. He could even go as a self pay person rather than using health insurance. That way, no one would ever be able to see a paper trail unless he told them there was a past history of this problem. If he is completely opposed to seeing a Psychiatrist or therapist he may be responsive to the idea of seeing his Primary Care Dr. just to "rule out" a medical problem like an overactive or underactive thyroid problem. Sometimes a PCP can evaluate and then recommend meds or a psychiatrist and people are more likely to follow a Dr's advice v/s a loved one's advice.

I hope these suggestion help as well. So sorry you are going through this. Also, Here is a Google search that might help you out more with this.

All the best,
Kym

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