I am sorry you are feeling bad. Your depression is getting the better of you, and despite your efforts to build yourself up by doing things, you are not going to improve if you don't take care of the chemical imbalance. You have a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder and this requires diligence in caring for yourself medicinally.
I understand you want to help the family, but first need to help yourself. Otherwise you and they will be suffering if you are incapacitated due to the mental illness. Call your physician and ask for your Seroquel. Let him/her know how you are feeling.
You didn't say how serious your thoughts of suicide are. Do you have a plan? Do you think you would follow through?
If so, please go to the nearest ER or phone 911 for assistance. You sound as if you are having fairly rational thoughts, and know what to do. Sometimes, we need to make ourselves top priority, and this is one of those times.
I am including national suicide hotline numbers for further assistance. But please let me know if you have further questions. Gina
Hi, Thank you for responding. It sounds as if you have developed some great coping skills to manage your diagnosis, and are motivated to get better. That is wonderful!
Unless your physician feels you are a threat to yourself or others by suicide or homicide, then yes, you can refuse admission. But, please keep this as an option. Your physician probably knows you pretty well, and really does have your best interest at heart. So If he/she feels you could benefit from admission, at least consider it for a day or two, just to get your medications stable.
You have come a long way with this diagnosis, and know what to do, I believe. But, giving yourself permission to take care of yourself is a little harder. Do the best for yourself, listen to those who know you, and let them help you right now. Then you can return the favor and help them as well once you are feeling better. I wish you the best. Please let me know if you have further questions. Gina