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Gina P
Gina P, LCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 175
Experience:  MSW, LCSW, PIP
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My four-year-old grand-daughter and her 6mo. old brother were

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My four-year-old grand-daughter and her 6mo. old brother were taken to another state because their mother wanted to be near her family and didn't like where she lived. My son is a wonderful man and excellent father. She says if my son really loves her he will move up their with her. The kids have an 11-year-old step-sister they see every other weekend and the kids adore each other. If my son moves no one will see the older child. My son feels he is being made to choose between his children. My daughter-in-law says her happiness comes first and the children will get over it. Don't kids come first?

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX hearted grandma
Hi Granny, You are very wise. Everything you are saying is correct. The 11 year old child may be emotionally devastated, not just at the loss of her father, but also at the loss of her siblings. I hope there can be a compromise for this family. I do not know the proximity of the locations, but perhaps something like monthly visits, webcam, etc. may help her feel more connected to her father and other family. This is a difficult choice, and yes, I agree, children's emotions are fragile. Adults are usually able to handle separations much better. Please let me know what other questions you have. Gina
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
The location is Mom in WI and Dad in OK. No weekend visits, only summer. How will a 6 month-old bond after so many months apart. How can a mother break two little girls hearts?

HI, That is very difficult. If your son decides to move, he needs to have an honest and direct conversation with his daughter. Addressing her feelings, and making a plan on how to help her continue to feel bonded with them.

Children can become resilient with caring words and attention. He can provide this long distance for a while, and hopefully she will feel positive about their relationship.

As for the Mom, I cannot speak for her, but would hope she may consider some alternate living options for the benefit of all the children, who will be losing siblings. Gina

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