Addiction is a coping mechanism to deal with feelings that can be painful or too difficult to handle. While it is true that many people addicted to drugs, etoh, etc. may have abuse backgrounds, the past history is not to blame. It is, though, part of the cycle that perpetuates the addiction.
Many people believe in the disease concept of addiction. Meaning there is an inherent trait in certain people that is activated when you use. Because addictions change the way you feel, it contributes to the continued cycle of not having to deal with the real, underlying issues. So, it does have something to do with your continuing to use.
Many people start using when life is tough, even as a child. Or begin use as an adult to avoid having to deal with childhood issues. So, in that respect it is also influenced by past history.
I hope this makes sense. In other words, the addiction is a disease, which is set in to motion, and because using drugs/etoh works so well to avoid feelings, its cycle continues.
First and foremost getting clean and sober. Afterward, you will experience a wide array of emotions which will include left over feelings from childhood. These feelings will make you want to use again, if you do not deal with them.
If we assign blame to childhood events, it will take the responsibility of getting clean and sober off of you, and give you no power to deal with it.
So, even though you may have began to use to deal with those feelings, and continue to use to deal with feelings, it is within your power to change that and get healthy and clean.
I would recommend you go to counseling again, or perhaps rehab if needed. Be honest. There is nothing you can say to an addiction counselor that they haven't heard. They are there to help you help yourself, not to pass judgment, and cannot fully help you unless you are honest.
Please let me know if you have further questions. thanks, Gina