How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question

Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Ed Wilfong is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi, This will sound very childish and needy but I dont know

Customer Question

Hi, This will sound very childish and needy but I dont know who to talk to or what the actual problem is I just know there is one and I need to do something about it. My fiance loves me, I know that without a doubt and I know he would never do anything to hurt me. The only thing we ever argue about is he never tells me he loves me and sometimes I just need to hear it. We cant afford to get married yet or buy a house or start a family and I hate that but it will happen 1 day.Sometimes I need to hear he loves me so much we get into a fight about why he wont tell me and it just makes me even more angry and then upset because I dont know why if he loves me he cant tell me.Then I cant make myself stop going on about it, even though the argument isnt going anywhere.
I find I cry so much, all the time, its driving me mad.I always want him to tell me nice things and reassure me.I dont think I'm depressed or anything, just my emotions are uncontrollable and I dont know why or how to change it.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
You don't sound like you have any "mental problems". I think I know what is wrong. You are supposed to tell the one you love that you love them. The person to talk to is him, which hasn't worked out to well. I suspect he is one that has some sort of issue with this, that affects you, sadly. You likely will have to get use to it unless he gets counseling. You sound fine.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I know I am fine mentally, and I know part of the problem is he cant tell me he loves me - he said he thinks he shows me by being affectionate etc which is fair enough, but what I cant understand is why I am so emotional and just cry all the time when he doesnt tell me what I want to hear or when my friends talk about how great their partner's are. Why can I not just accept that he loves me and cant tell me rather than feel so emotional and am incapable of holding back the tears! They just free flow whenever I get even slightly unhappy nevermind upset.
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
I think the tears are normal. This hurts and the longer it goes on, the more it hurts. You sound like you know this is important, but deep down, I think you may underestimate how important it is. I would bet he is emotionally restrained in other issues which limis intimate communication. Are you sure your tears of sadness are not because you know this is an unacceptable way to live, despite all the positives? You likely can't accept it because it is not acceptable.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
How do I make it acceptable? I cant disconnect the rational from irrational thoughts - I know he loves me, I just do, I need no clarity or reassurance on that, yet for some reason it doesnt make me any less upset when he isnt vocal! I'm just fed up with being upset and not knowing how to change it. I thought if/when we got engaged it would change my thoughts because then it's obvious he loves me and wants to spend his life with me so why would he need to tell me etc and then he proposed in Sept and the thoughts are still there. I'm going round in circles. Sorry to moan, I just dont understand my own thoughts!
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
Kimi-counseling is the only way I can think of to change these though patterns. someone trained can better help you examine why you are having such difficulty and change the pattern. If you like, I can bow out and refer you to someone else to help. I think I have done all I can. I understand, just don't have an easy answer. Let me know.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
If you dont mind I would appreciate that please. Thankyou for you help.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi i just received an email asking why i havent paid after 3 questions, but thats because the the expert i spoke to said he would open up my question to other experts as he couldnt help, i didnt get an aswer from anyone else so asked why and then got an email saying sorry for the wait, if i leave a 'good faith' deposit it may prompt a reply. This I have done and all I received was the email asking to pay, no further response to my initial problem.
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 4 years ago.
Kimi-we, the experts have no control over the prompts for payment. You don't have to pay unless satisfied. I am sorry they do that.
I did ask a couple people I knew to look at your post and opened it up to all experts. I also cannot control whether thay think they can help, or are willing. When a question doesn't get a second opinion, often it is because they agree with the first opinion.
I hope someone else responds, but my understanding is if you don't value the work done, you don't pay.

Edited by Dr. Ed Wilfong on 1/3/2010 at 11:51 PM EST

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education