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One cannot be physically addicted to pot, but one may certainly psychologically addicted which he sounds to be. It would seem to me if there were a choice between, a girlfriend and the use of pot the decision would be easy. If it is not it would speak to the depth of the potential addiction which should be a teaching instrument for him. I think it is necessary for him to examine what is is going so negatively that he feels compelled to smoke pot. Keep it on the discussion level and avoid argumentation. You may wish to have a few brief couples counseling sessions to work this out.
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A goodly number of productive "normal" regularly people smoke pot with little negative impact. I would discuss not the drug, but how it effects you to the extent it does and therefore the reason that you would like him to stop. You are absolutely correct in avoiding conflict. Is there a compromise possible-at least as a start-that he not be intoxicated while he is around you. Explain what it is the disturbs you. Remember if you talk you cant't be arguing.
No you don't have the problem-you have every right to determine that you do not wish to hang with a drug user. There seems to be something wrong with his priorities if he cannot easily choose you over marijuana as he his behavior is saying something.
I want to be with him. How can I 'cope' with him using. I jst don't want to feel angry with him every day.
There is a goodly number of high functioning , non criminal (except for possession) users out there. So this is a pretty contoversial material about the degree of damage from minimal or none to significant.. He can make a rational argument that although in the minority, there are millions of current, consistant smokers. This is in no way a rationalization or justification of the use of cannabis. Best wishes on working it out-you may consider couples counseling.