How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question

Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
19260254
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I keep saying yes to people who want me as a friend yet some

This answer was rated:

I keep saying yes to people who want me as a friend yet some of them I don't want or aren't my type. I do have a big heart and volunteer in a hospital but how can I be choosy-I don't like hurting friend's feelings-Nancy

Good Evening,

 

Assertiveness is healthy and it does not intend to hurt someone. If you see your intent in this light, perhaps you would be able to be more choosy (because an un balanced relationship is going to be an unhealthy relationship) Honesty with self and others is what will bring balance.

 

Try not to be hard on yourself (you're also human) If you try to make yourself busy you're only using a defense mechanism and not dealing with the issue at hand. Instead, try to see if there are any underlying reasons behind your behavior such as desire to please, seeking acceptance, trying not to disappoint, etc. Then focus on those feelings as the source of the behavior. Journaling can be quite helpful as well as accepting that you cannot please everyone but ought to at least please yourself.

Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Yes, I am trying not to dissapoint people, but I feel I am going to hurt their feelings

You are not responsible for how someone decides to feel. That is their choice. If they feel disappointed, then that's on the not you. We're responsible only for our own feelings and actions/reactions. You're entitled to your free will and desire and search for happiness too.
Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Related Mental Health Questions