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In family disputes I always recommend a direct and honest approach. It may be as you said that she is using you in which case you would probably want to end it. If on the other hand she is looking to rekindle a former positive relation, it is probably worth it. The only way to do this is to discuss you your thoughts and feelings. If you find that there is a conflict between the words and the behavior, the behavior is the best guide as to what is taking place. Good luck, but be cautious and protect yourself.
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Set up an in person meeting. At this meeting set down what the acceptable ground rules are. As difficult as it is if she cannot abide by the rules, you will have to tell her that you will have to cease conversation until she can abide by the rules. I wish there was an answer that huaranteed healthy peaceful results, but there are not.
One choice is what you suggested either you talk like adults or do not talk. The other is to attempt to without ground rules which will probably is less likely to lead to conflict. The first choice of either or is likely to lead to a conflict. Is it possible to discuss without conflict just the honest expression of feeling. Moving out of town sounds like an extreme option.
Best wishes and good luck
I am oing to opt out so that other experts may attempt to answer your question-best wishes and good luck.
It seems to me that both your friends and a highly qualified expert have given you the same advice. Is it at all possible that you dont want to hear what they have to say?
Sometimes it is too painful to hear good advice and follow it.
You know its possible that the best thing you can do is not what you wish to do. I am leaving this open as an info request in the event that another expert might have a different perspective. I agree with Ralph and your friends on this and I hope you will think about it and follow that recommendation. In any event, I am leaving this open in case any other expert has a different perspective.
Good Luck LP. I wish you all the very best on this.