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i mean type.
i'm still here.
it's new year. im all alone. i was recently diagnosed with aspergers. i feel like i have no one to talk to. work is stressful. and i'm afraid of what my employers would do if they found out about aspergers. my parents not acepting the diagnosis.
i was diagnosed with all sorts of other things first - anxiety, depression, anxious/avoidant personality disorder and some other persnality disorder.
So it was kind of a relief at first to hear that I have aspergers cos it means i don't have personality disorders.
i saw apsychotherapist and he thought that i might have aspergers cos i didn't respond to treatment as he hoped. i kept on asking him hat he has getting at and could we not wite something down.
then i saw an expert and filled in questionnaires and did a test about peoples facial expressions and he talked to my parents. and he has ritten a report.
it could ruin my career to start with. Then i find the diagnosis too woolly. I want to know a definite have i got it or not and if i do, i want to know what my specific difficulties are so that i can work on them. apparently, that's a bit of a black and white asperger response.
it's messing with my head.
i was told that it was up to me to tell employer. that means it wil be kept secret as long as possible.
i don't mind speaking to people over the internet, it is more difficult in real life. i would quite happily live a virtual life.
what do i not understand?
i feel like i need someone else to notice what needs improving. i can't see it so well myself. the other personality disorder has just come back to me now - it was dependent personality disorder.
the whole diagnosis process of aspergers has in some way helped. i've not been on antidepressants fr a few months now. granted, they were stopped as i was getting chest pain but the psychiatrist has saidni dont need any now.