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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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Is there a book that you would recommend that deals with rebuilding

Resolved Question:

Is there a book that you would recommend that deals with rebuilding trust in a marriage? Our trust issues have to do with my issues with lying which I am fixing. But my husband is deeply hurt by my past lies and often thinks I still lie, even when I am telling the absolute truth. How do I re-establish any trust in me?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 6 years ago.
This will take time to rebuild trust. And a lot of communication. No matter how well you have resolved the lying, expect him to be months behind. Anytime one person in a relationship changes, even for the best, XXXXX XXXXX some time, sometimes a long time (months to yea for them to adjust and trust the new behavior. Ideally, you would go to marriage counseling. It would also be helpful for him to deal with his issues that affect your relationship. They could be discussed in marriage counseling not by trying directly to resolve his issues, but in terms of how the behaviors he exhibits now affect you.

To re-establish trust you need to continue to be trustworthy and realize the lag time I discussed above is normal. His own issues may effect how long it takes.


Talking and Listening Together: Couple Communication One

The above is a little old but I studied with the author and like his approach. Actually, the next one is a newer revision of like same approach.
Collaborative Marriage Skills (Couple Communication I) by Sherod et al Miller (Paperback - 2007)

You may also want to browse the marriage communication section at Amazon and see what stands out. If an affair is a big part of the issue, one of my professors has a book I can recommend-let me know. I typically only recommend books I have read or know the author.

Good luck.
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