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I am sorry to hear that you have been through so much right now. Recovery takes on many diferent views. You will never forgot what you have gone through and there will be times of pain that you remember BUT you can move forward through this and find things to look forward to in life and find good things in life. You have been through a lot and have seen many things and can use the pain you have experienced to help others who are suffering the same pain you have experienced.
I would suggest you continue with counseling, cry, grieve, deal with the losses you have experienced, and then learn how to be able to move forward in your life and best cope with your experiences.
I wish you the best. Please let me know if I can assist anymore.