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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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Hi I am on the verge of leaving my partner although I do not

Resolved Question:

I am on the verge of leaving my partner although I do not want to as when times are good they are very good. She has always been volatile and I have made several adjustments to my life to please her. However this only seems to lead to her being more volatile and showing less empathy. She will spin our arguments to those close to her to make me look unreasonable. She tries to drive a wedge between me and those close to me. Although naturally very attractive she wears slightly too much make up flattering clothes and xpensive scent for everyday tasks. She looks at every man who walks by - I suspect to ensure that they notice her more than anything. I have made an unqualified diagnosis of NPD. Is this correct? And if so how do I discuss it with her, as to my mind this would serve only to feed the disorder. I`m in a catch 22 and realise that she needs help and I am willing to provide whatever support I can regardles of the suffering!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 6 years ago.


It is difficult to make a diagnosis based on the sparce information available in the post. Yes she certainly sounds like she is a narcissistic personality disorder. The only way to discuss these issues is straight forward. The reaction in all probability will not be positive given her presupposed narcissism. Candidly the outlook is grim. Personality disorders are extremely difficult to impact upon and change even with therapy because the individual is so well defended that they do not believe that there is anything wrong with them. In such situations, the truly only realistic alternative is to change your reaction to her narcissism. You will have to swallow a great deal and accept a significant amount of abuse. This is a value judgment that you will have to make. Is it worth it? I hope that this has been helpful and i wish you the best.



Ralph LMHC

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