I would suspect you were covering your symptoms with your drug usage. As far as driving people away, first, if you feel worse and don't get treated, the more likely they are to split, if they are drug friends, it is OK they split, third, they don't have to know. Why they would be driven away for you seeking help for a potentially serious condition would speak to the quality (or lack) of their caring for you.
Counseling would be great, but it also sounds like you are depressed.
Your family MD can prescribe safe, non-abusable, antidepressants for you. Don't let them give you benzodiazapines, unless it is for a week or two. You will be tempted to abuse them. (Common ones are ativan, Klonapin, xanax, Valium......if you get generic names, they all end in "pam", which would be reason to as questions about them.
I hope you do get help and get better. Medication and counseling is more effective than either one alone, but either one can also help. Start where you feel most comfortable with. You may want to consult a CD specialist about the MJ quitting, but I don't think it is the primary problem. It will be if you don't quit, as I agree with you. You have been medicating some type of depression and anxiety
that needs treatment.
Edited by Dr. Ed Wilfong on 12/1/2009 at 9:56 PM EST