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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1696
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I have several questions that have been going on it seems all

Resolved Question:

I have several questions that have been going on it seems all my life. I lie to gain acceptance and be entertaining. When I do feel as though I gain acceptance from an important person I get rambunctous continually talk and cut them off and they do not want to hold a conversation with.I seem to not have lasting friendships.(due to this?) When I get close my my dreams and goals I seem to get frustrated and throw it all away. Once agin I am getting close to my career goals and feel myself lying more, drinking, more and pushing good people away. Although this is not my wife and children I am pushing away. I don't want to create my own failure again.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi and welcome,

You hit the nail on the head with the reason why you find it necessary to lie, attention and acceptance. It sounds like as much as you want to be successful and have friendships you may have an underlying fear of really being successful or being worthy enough to have lasting friendship. Think of it as (not consciously) seeing yourself reaching a goal, you may believe that you are either not worthy of the success? not able to do the job? so you sort of self-sabotage which could be a result of low self esteem. The best way for you to not create your own failure and to learn more about your reactions to being accepted I would suggest you find a good cognitive behavioral therapist. In this type of therapy you learn to use techniques that help you through all types of situations as well as make you think differently about how you handle and react. For example, you could learn how to temper your reaction to those you believe to be "important". You would learn that you are important too! Therefore you have two "important" people standing there having a conversation and you would not feel the need to be overbearing to the point where they do not want to engage you in conversation.
If your psychologist sees some behaviors that may be due to another factor then they can refer you to a psychiatrist for a further evaluation. Some of your behavior is impulsive and although it 's just one symptom, it is a symptom of ADD as is the inability to form lasting friendships, and low self esteem. You have taken the first step by coming here for information as well as recognize that you want to change. That is a very good start.
I hope this has been informative and helpful to you.
Please click ACCEPT and leave FEEDBACK when you area satisfied.


Edited by Dr.Keane on 12/1/2009 at 3:29 PM EST
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1696
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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