Hi, Unfortunately this is another one of those catch phrase diagnosis that some assign, kind of like ADHD and Bipolar.
Some of the characteristics include patterns of relationships that are unhealthy and unstable, poor self esteem or self concept, fear of abandonment, feelings of emptiness, impulsivity in at least two damaging areas of life, uncontrollable anger, and self mutilating behaviors. The abandonment feelings come from an inherent sence of being "bad" or different, and that is why many have sexual abuse backgrounds. The guilt and shame that goes along with this particular problem can exacerbate feelings of being bad or fear that loved ones will not like them just for who they are, rather than what they can do. You can usually expect this diagnosis in women. You only need to have some of these characteristics, not all, for the diagnosis.
As you can see, many of these same characteristics can also describe many other psychiatric disorders such as depression with suicidal ideations.
I am not sure who diagnosed this for you, but the fact of having some or all of these traits one time is not really enough to fulfill diagnositc criteria. A psychiatrist should look for patterns of these behaviors. If you are 35, seeing a therapist, every other week, and have not been diagnosed until now, it is probably not accurate. BPD traits would have been with you for a bit longer. An RN is not usually allowed to assign a diagnosis. They can offer diagnositc impressions.
I know this diagnosis may upset you, but, does not have to effect you if you do not allow it. If you do have this diagnosis, or even some traits of it, it is easily corrected with diligence and motivation. It sounds as if you are working on the issues, so please don't give yourself a label, and don't accept others label of you either. Just deal with what is going on and get healthy. That is the ultimate form of revenge:)
Hope this helps. Let me know if you have other questions. Gina