Hi, It sounds as if you are definitely depressed. You need to seek assistance through a psychiatrist or your general practitioner for an anti depressant. Do this right away.
When you are severely depressed it immobilizes you, and keeps you from doing other positive things for yourself.
Talking to others is helpful if they are trained to assist you in moving from the problem into the solution. Otherwise, you just end up spinning your wheels and being dragged down even further. Sometimes, this happens when talking to loved ones who mean well, but don't know how to help. Sometimes this happens with a counselor who may be inexperienced or not know how to handle you particular problem. None the less, the combination of medication and therapy is a jump start on getting healthier and developing a healthier attitude about your life. Definitely want to find a therapist who willhelp you work toward the solution, even if you are uncomfortable with the therapy.
If you have imminent thoughts of harming yourself, you will want to seek assistance immediately through your local emergency department or mental health center. They can assist you in determining your options, which may include inpatient treatment.
You are putting the word "try" into most of your sentences, and this, in the counseling world usually means "if I feel like it." Unfortunately when depressed, you won't feel like making many changes until you feel better. This is something you can control now even if you don't feellike it. You set daily goals to accomplish some of those changes, and specific steps. Each day you complete those goals, even if you don't feel like it. This is a way to outsmart your depression and self sabotage, and will help you feel as if you have some control over what is happening right now. After a while, you will feel empowered enough to take chances and make positive steps. A goal: meet one new person today. This goal will get you out of the house, hopeully showered :), and talking to new people. So in reality, gives you several small tasks to accomplish and keeps you moving forward into life.
Depression can feel overwhelming, but is easily manageable for most people. You need to make a committment to yourself to get better, and do what is necessary to get there. Hope this helps. Gina