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Your girl friend apparently has severe sexual problem probably stemming from earlier negative experiences. these feelings are so deep inside of her that it is unfortunately beyond you ability to help her. Probably in the past some one forced her to do things against her will and now she cannot get past it. She needs to see a sexual therapist sexual therapist. If you are in the US you can get a referral form http://www.aasect.org/ . I hope that this information has been useful and I wish you both t he best-incidentally if you have health insurance they will probably pay for it..
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I think that she has a big problem sexually. Unfortunately it is not something that she can fix her self. It is like having a broken arm-you can't set it yourself you need to go to the doctor. Well she probably has a history of abuse and need to see a therapist who will help her overcome the abuse so that she will be able to enjoy sex and you too. You ca find a sex therapist at http://www.aasect.org/. Good luck.