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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1705
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Hello... I am in a difficult situation and having a hard time

Resolved Question:

Hello... I am in a difficult situation and having a hard time coping. My fiance just received a call in September that he has a child. The child is already two years old, and the child's mother has been more than difficult in getting a paternity test. I've always wanted my own family and I don't know how to handle this situation... Needless to say, I want to be supportive for my fiance but I'm incredibly hurt and afraid...
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi and welcome

If you love your fiance and want to be supportive then you have to accept that he has a child and he has to do the right thing by supporting that child and being a part of his/her life. That is, if and when the mother has a paternity test done. Until then, you really don't know if it's his or not. If it turns out to be his child, what makes you think that you won't have your own family? You can and will. Until this gets straightened out keep the lines of communication open with him. I know it hurts. What are you afraid of? This is something that is not the end of the world as painful as it may feel to you right now. You have gone to counseling, that is a good thing. If you feel this way you may both want to go see your counselor and work through it. But, again, until it's a proven fact I would not worry so much. If you feel betrayed you can talk to the counselor about that too.
You have faith, so use prayer to help you too.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hello Dr. Keane-

Thank you so much for your quick response. To answer your questions... I think I'm afraid of not being able to have children myself. My doctor has told me that there is a possibility that I may not be able to get pregnant, so I guess this situation reinforces my fear of that as well. When my fiance was with this woman, he and I were not together. I feel betrayed, however, because he lied to me about his and her relationship up until she told him about the child. I think I will take your advice and take him to counseling with me as well...

Thank you, Lauren

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
You are welcome Lauren. In life there is always possiblities that we may not get what we want, that being said until you know for sure that you are not able to have a child I would put it out of your mind and focus on the positives. Glad you are going to take your fiance to counseling. Good luck.
Please click ACCEPT and leave FEEDBACK when you are satisfied.
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1705
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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