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Hi Ed. A little more explaination and answers please. The person in question is my wife's niece. My wife (the Aunt) and her brother have taken the tought love approach but relented on a yearly cycle (because of concern for the 9 year old granddaughter). You indicate that tough love is the only chance of dealing with this. What I don't understand is: If the niece can't change her behavior with help, then how is she going to be able to change her behavior without help? It seems the tough love approach presumes the person has the ability to change. What if she doesn't? Is her behavior a symptom of a psychological disorder that may have behavior modification therapy involved? If her emotional development was arrested by her frequest drug use during her formative years is there a psychological approach to start dealing with her at the level she is at? Although she had in and out patient counseling at 15, she is now 36. I would think there have been some new insights into this type problem since then. Your answer please.